My fiancé is away at a sober half way house. He's been there for almost month. I feel very distant from him. What and how can I be there for him and how can I tell him how I feel?

I know you feel helpless and

I know you feel helpless and distant. I know you want to be able to have an active role in his recovery. I know that since you love him you want to do all you can, and everything that's right-- and these are common desires of partners who are dealing with what you're dealing with ----- but listen very clearly to me, and don't get offended because getting offended will only get in the way of you understanding:

RIGHT NOW, NONE OF THIS IS ABOUT YOU. IT CAN'T BE. YOUR QUESTION FEATURED THE WORD THE FIRST PERSON PRONOUN 'I' FOUR TIMES. That's four times too many. This is about his struggles. His addiction. He knows you're there.

Let him fight his demons. You can't help. This is a decade long addict talking. If you love him, as the saying goes, set him free to overcome his addiction. Until you have a great solution to that, stay away. He'll come back to you when he's ready.

Nikki

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