My name is Jen I am new here and I have been battling addictions since the age of 13, I am currently 27. It started with alcohol my first time getting drunk was at the age of 13 at a new years party, we drank screw drivers all night long, I havent had a drink in several months, anyway the drinking was out of control and still is. I graduated to marijuana in 9th grade and I spent all of my high school years high, I smoked a few days ago. In my senior year in highschool I was introduced to cocaine and binged for 3 months everyday not eating not sleeping fading away, I went completely broke and I tried robbing payphones and selling my possesions to obtain more, I havent touched this is over a year. A few years back I was introduced to prescription pills. I had about 30 scrips at all times and I knew what to mix and how much to tak eto get my desired affect. This contiued for several years until I overdosed and woke up in the icu and was put in the psychiatriic ward. I have had more than 15 hospitalizations in the past year due to pills. My last abuse of these pills was about 2 weeks ago. I have been craving them very badly these last few days, and is the hardest addiction thus far to beat. It was easier for my to quit alcohol and cocaine than it is these damn pills. They are inexpensive and they are easily obtainable. I have learned to manipulate e r doctors who do not know my addictions. i do not feel like myself without some substance running through my blood. Its like how do you learn to live at 27 when mentally you stopped growing at the age of 13 when the addiction first began. I have tried na meetings and aa meetings. I have tried church and therapy and meds and support groups, I cannot get out of my head. My body craves substance it makes me feel alive, another story to tell. I would be proud of my stories and at the same time ashamed. Can anyone relate to this? I have rambled on long enough and I want to thank everyone who took the time to read this.
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Hello Jen,
First of all welcome. It is very brave of you to share your story here. It means a lot to people like me. I have been reading through these forums on a daily basis and seen what people go through and it made me feel like I am not alone in this. I went through so many different phases in my life. Alcohol, Coke, Ecstacy. For some reason I would go through times of hardcore drug use but then was able to stop. Then about a year ago a person I knew gave me vics and percocet. It all went downhill from there. I found myself not being able to wake up or go to bed without them. It felt like my whole day revolved around them. I lost my job but luckily I had some close friends that stuck by me. I have only been off them for a month now and I tell you it has been the hardest month ever. Way harder than after coke. Way harder than after alcohol. I have no idea why. The first thing I did was have a friend flush it all away. I know its not the solution but it was a start for me. I have been going to meetings every day. I still think about them. I am thinking about them right now but I am finding the strength to change because I know thjere is so much more out there. The first days I felt so sick and lost without them. I had no idea what to do with myself. I know you can do it. I am on a month and I want to keep going. I know each minute, hour and day that goes by will make the light shine brighter.
Please keep strong. Please keep coming back to talk. That is why we are all here.
:D :D
Welcome Jen. Even though I have not battled addiction I have seen it nearly destroy my dad. He has battled back through strength and love. I wish the best for you.
Strength and Love!
Hello Jen. We are always here to help you in any way. I know your recovery will come.
Thank you all so much, your support is appreciated. Looking forward to making new positive friends in this group. I am so scared of relapse as most of you prbably are. Support means the world to me! :D :D :mrgreen:
Jen
I am with you Jen. Everyday is a difficult day but the support of people here and around me mean so much.
Please keep in touch.
Have an excellent day :D
That is why we are all here. We all have a common goal that makes us move every day.
I hope everyone has a safe and excellent weekend.
it helps to know that there are others out there who are struggling as hard as I am. let us remind each other what we are doing is huge and it is worth doing. lets stay positive.