Still sufferin Addict

Hi my name is Ricky and I am a addict. I've been addicted to crack for 13 years. I have normal addict story had everything and lost eveything.
I got into longterm pogram about 18 months ago. I've relapsed 3 times since then.
12 months ago I found NA. I was clean for 7 months ( longst in 13 years ), until last week I went back to SA for birth of my first child. I end up relapsing and being arrested. My girlfriend was still in hospital rcovering, she had to come bail me out- WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. My child first day out of hospital was spent at court seeing his daddy getting bail.
I am lucky as my girlfiend is a recovering addict with over 2 years clean time.It still does'nt make things right, but she understands that I have disease.
I realised that Relapse was not a spur of the moment thing, but it was a process. I stopped my step work, I stopped calling my sponsor, I stopped cultivating a personal relationship with my Higher Power, I started to think that I could drink alcohol: I WAS WRONG!
Unfortunately I can not attend NA meetings because my work takes me deep into Africa. So I am gratefull to discover this Forum where addicts can share feelings and knowledge of this disease.
I've started my step work from scratch, I am in contact with my sponsor on daily basis, and any free time is spend on this Forum.
I don't ever want my boy to look at me like my family and society looks at me- dissapointment, discussed.
I am trying to break this never ending cycle: get better,get a job, get assets, get high, loose assets, loose job, loose family and friends and end up in jail or the streets.
All I can do is to accept this disaese and accept there are certain things I will have to do for the rest of my life for me not to relapse. But I will do it one day at a time
I am still suffering addict
Ricky