Hi everyone,
I am a mother of 2 living in Northern California. My older son is 18 and my younger one is 15. Ever since my oldest left for college my youngest one has been more and more trouble. He seems to be drinking all the time with his friends and I hope not anything else but I do not know. I think my oldest used to keep a tight grip on him but now that he is 3000 miles a way it is tough. My youngest won't listen to anything I say. I just see things getting worse and worse. Grades are slipping and I know everything he is doing is bad for jim as well. My husband and I drink occasionally but have never had any sort of problem.
Any advice? Any parents dealt with something like this? Thanks in advance.
---Worried Mom
I am very sorry to hear about your situation. It is definitely not any easy thing to deal with when you have a growing teen who is in a rebellious stage and is easily influenced by his surroundings. Have you tried to get your older son involved. It seems he has good influence. Will he be back over the holidays. The first step is to work with a discussion but to do it in a nurturing way as not to push him away.
:( Drinking is a problem when it causes trouble in family relationships, school and social activities, or affects how a person thinks and feels.
Having assisted teens in this area for a lot of years, please remember that alcohol kills more male teenagers and young men than any other drug taken to affect mood and behavior (heroin, cocaine, marijuana).
Most deaths and injury due to alcohol are caused by the way people behave when under its influence. Men fight more, drive more recklessly , and engage in more risky behaviors. Alcohol use is a leading risk factor for the three leading causes of death among youth: unintentional injuries (including motor vehicle crashes and drownings), suicides; and homicides.
Alcohol also puts you at greater risk from sexual behavior where you find you have more than you had planned on- a sexually transmitted disease or an unwanted pregnancy!
Who wants to be a father at 15? Alcohol is a drug and you can become addicted to it. Even one beer can slow your reactions and confuse your thinking. Alcohol also changes the way you act. It can make you let go of the feelings that keep you from doing things you know are risky or dangerous. Mounting research suggests that alcohol causes more damage to the developing brains of teenagers than was previously thought, injuring them significantly more than it does adult brains. The findings, though preliminary, have demolished the assumption that people can drink heavily for years before causing themselves significant neurological injury. And the research even suggests that early heavy drinking may undermine the precise neurological capacities needed to protect oneself from alcoholism.
The new findings may help explain why people who begin drinking at an early age face enormous risks of becoming alcoholics. Get you soon assistance now. He is drinking because he is hurting, and he needs to know how to handle this when it comes up again in his life or he will keep resulting to self-harming behaviors. :(
Well said!
hey, i have 3 kids dealing with addiction, it is very hard, i no what i put my mom thru now!!!
keep the faith , pray pray, i have too!!! try alonon!