Eating Disorders and Relationships

[qat]

Has anyone found it hard to get back into a relationship after suffering with an ED for a while? It seems for some reason I have had walls up even after receiving treatment.

[cheese]

It has affected my marriage

[howard]

My fiance has an eating disorder. We have been together for a year and a half and I love her very much. She developed her eating disorder in high school, about 6 years ago. She recovered successfully and had no relapses. When she met me, we fell in love quickly and established a life together very fast. I could see the beauty of her soul. But she had stopped therapy after her recovery and never faced some of the associated, underlying issues. So we began having problems. And when we did, she had a tough time handling them and has recently relapsed. I blame myself for a lot of it. But I am replying to your post because I want to tell you that love and a relationship is possible. But take care of EVERYTHING before committing to someone who truly loves you and who you love equally. And make sure that the person you find is not like me! I think subconsciously, she knew my issues and fell for me because of them. But eventually, they contributed greatly to her depression and relapse. I am codependent, and a guy like me can seem very together and very attractive as a mate. But if you both have not dealt with your issues, you will face further problems.

Don't let me discourage you. I'm not. I'm actually telling you that it will be tough but ultimately you will find someone great because you will have a special insight into being low and overcoming. What I think my fiance has always believed though, is that any step back means failure. Be patient. Good luck!

[qat]

Thanks for your message. I have been attending group meetings for a while now and I do not plan to stop. You are so right. I do not want to let anyone into my emotional life until I am at peace with myself.

I hope everything works out for the 2 of you.