My spouse wants to leave me

Submitted by Angieboss Fri 03/26/2010

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“My spouse wants to leave me even though I was diagnosed and treated over two years ago as a mild sex addict, more addicted to work according to my addiction therapist. Her reasoning is that she read that recovery chances are so slim. Is that true?”
I love reading “Ask the Expert” questions. They are so fun, because you can by anonymous and ask absolutely anything. The above is no exception and Vanessa provides a compassionate, and empathetic response.
Me, on the other hand, am kinda wondering about the post. I am sure this person is a nice guy, but his question poses an interesting dilemma: when we label our behaviors as addictions, are we seeking a free pass? Or even if we don’t exactly want a wink and a nod, do we think because it’s an addiction, that we shouldn’t be held accountable for our behaviors?
It’s probably my only beef with the 12 Step programs. To be more accurate, it’s my beef with people who use 12 step programs as an excuse not to be help accountable. “Well, I am powerless over my addiction, so…”
A mentor told me to look at this way – I am not powerless in coping with my addiction. I am, however, powerless in what happens physically to my body once I ingest my addiction of choice. Once I drink or use, then I’ve given up my power. But not until then.

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