My Smoking Cessation Campaign!
On Saturday, I had extreme feelings of despair. I think those feelings were side effects ofmy medication (I recently started taking Wellbutrin as a smoking cessation aid. Wellbutrin is also us to combatanti-depression. So, I hopefully willget 2 for 1!) The feelings wereoverwhelming at times---we were at the theater and I felt like I wanted toburst into tears. Later that evening, Iwas at home watching a pretty mindless movie that I have seen a few times…I wasso overcome with grief at the end that I just wanted to crawl into a ball andsob. I tried (albeit, not fully) to explain tomy partner what I was going through, but that didn’t work. Fortunately, Saturday was also the day that Iincreased my dosage from 150 mg to 300 mg (as prescribed). According to what I have read, it can take2-4 weeks for the drug to be absorbed into my system. Nonetheless, I felt MARKEDLY different onSunday relative to Saturday…As a result of the potential for drowsiness, I tendto take my Wellbutrin at night-after a solid night’s sleep on Saturday, thefeelings of despair were gone on Sunday and I felt some semblance of “normalcy”(whatever that means). I still don’tknow if the Wellbutrin is having a positive effect on my smoking cessationcampaign. It has been less than 1week. I have smoked much less than I generallydo (on average, 1 pack per day). On Monday, I finished the last cigarette froma pack that I bought on Saturday ( wrote this on Monday). Initially, I pledged to get through theremainder of the day [Monday] without buying another pack, but, I didn't quite make it. I understand that I can continue smoking for10 days following my initial use of my medication, but I want to reallyreorient my mind away from this habit.
I am trying to recall all of the tools that I used when Istopped drinking, but that tactic is not going too well. With the drinking, there was a definite senseof urgency given my life circumstances (which, for me, partially explains why Iprobably didn’t stop drinking prior efforts since the urgency did seem asapparent). Its funny…I know that the consequences areserious (i.e. my health), but because I can’t “see” it, a part of my minddoesn’t believe it. This may be humannature, but its really quite stupid.
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