Should I stay or should I go?

Should I leave my spouse? It is perhaps the most common question asked by the partner of an addict. No easy answers here, but perhaps a few seeds for thought.

I know and understand the difficulty you are having, and the challenging circumstances which have created it.

Is it okay for you to be happy? And the answer is, yes.

What we do not have a right to do is to be dishonest or cruel, for dishonesty damages the psychological underpinnings of every human, and cruelty injures the physical and mental being. Therefore, in all things be both true and kind. Speak your truth, but sooth your words with peace and kindness.

If your truth is that you cannot be happy in your present circumstance, you have a right to tell your truth about that-and then to change your circumstance if you wish. If you fail to do so only because you do not wish to betray others, you only betray yourself. Betrayal of yourself in order not to betray another is betrayal nonetheless. It is the highest betrayal.

Try your very hardest not to betray yourself, and try your very hardest not to betray others. You betray others even if you remain with them if in doing so you are living a lie.

Yet whatever you choose, do so with great love.

Find community, get support. Find safe people who you can trust to listen and advise well.