Learning Our Own Humanity

One of the hard things to come to grips with when battling addiction is our own biology and habits. On the one hand, it’s undeniable that we are slaves to our physical selves – after all, I am certainly a different person when I’m well rested or when I’m worn out from lack of sleep. On the other hand, I have in my head a picture of “who I am” that doesn’t change much and I use this ideal person as a kind of touchstone that I rate my actions against.

What seems to help best is when I can leverage my better self to fight against those times when I am more vulnerable to slipping up. This means that if I can make solid decisions and commitments when I am on my best game, I can enjoy the benefits of a clearer head, even later when good decisions are harder to make and keep.

How does this work in practice? Well, I can identify those times when I am most tempted to backslide. I’ll use a smoking addiction as an example. When I am most clear-headed and analytical, I can see the patterns in my life where slipping up is more likely to happen. By setting myself up for success, instead of failure, and by paying close attention to those circumstances I’ve identified, I have the best chance for success.

This means not having pocket money for cigarettes when I’m going to take a long drive. Why? I know that stopping for gas or to eat will present an opportunity to buy a pack. That pack will get smoked on the next leg of the drive. I also know I shouldn’t have cigarettes in the house – why? Because, when I first wake up, the craving to smoke is strong and not having a cigarette available gives me the chance to resist the inevitable, “just one.”

Getting to know your own little failings and vulnerabilities is as easy as paying attention to what you already do. Finding ways to set yourself up for success instead of failure then becomes a matter of acting now, when you are able, so that you can resist when you are weak.

I know alcoholics who won’t go into certain stores because of the liquor on display. They tell me they just don’t want to test themselves. Others I know have a loved one monitor their finances very closely because by knowing they are under watch, they get a little strength.
So make it as easy on yourself as possible. Use your “stronger self” to support your “weaker self.” Be human, but be smart about it.