A-dar n. ay-dar 1) The ability to confidently identify a fellow addict because of shared attributes invisible to others 2) the same ability shared between alcoholics specifically.
It’s a cultural myth that members of any identifiable group can spot their fellows, at least not beyond the normal perception. There’s no magic happening with A-dar, but that’s not to say that, like most myths, there isn’t a kernel of truth in there somewhere. Even ancient sailors, who marked their maps with “Here There Be Monsters” didn’t have to believe in monsters to know that some parts of the ocean were dangerous and that many ships didn’t return. The sea monster myth was bogus, but the danger was real.
The myth of A-dar comes from a particular phenomenon. The technical term is cognitive bias. The usual example given is something we notice when we get a new car model. We never noticed that car on the road before (or not much) and suddenly we see them everywhere. The new car is a vivid emotional event and this keys our minds to the relevance. It’s the increased relevance that has changed, not the number of that type of car on the road.
Cognitive bias is built into us by biology. We notice things that move over things that aren’t. We turn our head toward the noisy over the silent, and we have a preference toward picking our friends out of a crowd. Perhaps it comes as no surprise then, when we’ve been beaten up emotionally by an addiction – the cues that are there for everyone to see “jump out” of the background and we confidently proclaim, “She’s an addict.” Or, “I knew he was an alcoholic.”
This isn’t to say there aren’t real cues, although they aren’t as sure-fire as we often believe. Alcoholics may show the bulbous nose of Karl Malden and the burst facial capillaries. Addicts of several types might show blunted, turned-down finger nails. Meth does cause dry mouth and can lead to rotten teeth.
The problem is that none of these are really diagnostic on their own. We subconsciously combine them with an unsteady gait or “shifty eyes” and bingo! Our A-dar seems to kick in.
This is well and good when there aren’t any consequences. Like when we inform someone, “I just knew Charlie Sheen had a drug and alcohol addiction, I could see it in his face.” Maybe you did. More likely you just noticed how tired he looked when the media started printing photos where he was worn out, after the story broke. When there are consequences – “Who’s dating my daughter?” or, “Should I hire this girl?” – that’s when trust in a mythical A-dar needs to be set aside to avoid prejudice and stereotype.
Getting past cognitive bias has a reward. I remember getting hired the first time while in recovery. I got the job and a fellow applicant, just as qualified but without my “history,” did not. The business owner told me some time later, “Well, I knew what your problem was. You spelled it out and you’re dealing with it. I didn’t know what his was and I hate surprises.”
