I expect tomorrow’s weather here in the Midwest to be sunny, and warm without a cloud in the sky. According to my weather forecaster, I am likely to be sorely disappointed. A snowstorm is preparing to be whip through, dumping another six inches of snow on our already frozen heartland. Mother Nature isn’t going to meet my expectations.
Thousands of football fans are left devastated today after last night’s game. Their team didn’t meet their fans’ expectations.
So what does that have to do with my addiction? Everything. We give into our cravings when life doesn’t meet our expectations. Our boss is a jerk. The kids are a pain in the butt, a friend let me down, a lover betrayed you. What’s the best medicine? For us, it’s to escape the pain.
What’s worse is when we fail to meet our own expectations. We lost a job, failed to get the grade or promotion we wanted. We acted in a way that hurt someone we love. When we fail to meet our expectations, we sometimes use it as an excuse to use. “After all, I messed up anyway. What’s the difference if I do this, too?”
Part of finding a way to deal with frustration and discouragement with unmet expectations is to create new ones. Instead of, “It has to be this way, or I will be miserable,” we can change our thinking to reflect, “I would like for this to happen, but if it doesn’t I can live through it. I may be disappointed, but I can try again.”
